How do I know when to let go of something good, for the possibility of something better?
Like a house.
Could letting go of a dream house open up more possibilities and opportunities?
Could it make life better for us?
Does improved cash flow make life better?
Would we just find new ways to spend it?
But could those ways... like traveling, make life even fuller?
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5 comments:
Bruce,
Nice question! I'll give it a shot. Fun to try this medium out.
Your questions bear more questions... these are not to (just) you, of course:
where is it written that we have to let go of the first?
how do we know that the first is actually good?
when we "got" the first thing, what had we let go of to get it? and did it prove to solve our problem, i.e., did it satisfy what we wanted it to satisfy? did it indeed turn out to be "better"?
about letting go... yes, it could open up possibilities and opportunities, but will they be the ones we think we want? and if not, will we be able to see them? do bird hunters walk across gold-bearing gravel without noticing it?
a "better" life.... wow. how do you define better? or just good? what is good about your life now? what do want to keep about your current life? what do you feel ready to let go of?
improved cash flow: better life? that's your call -- though it would certainly make a more cash-available life. but what would that bring you? more stuff, or more security in the form of less fear about having enough money?
would you find ways to spend it -- if you wanted to, i hope you would -- but do you mean would you even though you didn't want to spend it? because yes, that would be a problem.
and "those ways" you mention -- such as travel -- yes, they do enrich lives -- but have they enriched your already? ie do you know those to be things that make your life more satisfying, enjoyable, meaningful?
i guess i'd take the anthropologist's view of my own life and see what artifacts of "feel good" i could find... though, of course, that doesn't mean there aren't new ones out there yet to be discovered!
the bottom line, to me, is that to know what you want, you have to know what you want.
or, just jump and see what it turns out like. some things are a leap of faith and simply can't be guaranteed (life, marriage, jobs, children, health, etc.).
:-)
to paraphrase from an old friend, this is simply "messy" business, and there just isn't a clean way out of it.
thx for making me think!
kevin
Not let go of the first... wow, fascinating. Yes, we did let go of something to come to this house. Did it solve our "problem" - that is an interesting question. Was it a problem? The thing we were looking to solve was the want/desire for property on a lake. Initially, it had been recreational. We looked at property on the lake where Linda's parents had a place - north of Spokane. We figured out that we would never use it enough. So this place presented itself...and the crying wife in the driveway that I decided to go for it and let the chips fall where they may. The new problem was going in to a house blinded by a puddle... 80+ thousand later in upgrades and not nearly done. (is it ever done???) So now we have a "better" life, but it takes a different level of money and attention. That has costs associated with it, both $$ and time. Could I spend more of both? Yes. Would I spend more wisely? Maybe. Do we know what we want? No, but it is beginning to feel like it is time for a change.
Thanks for the comment. This should be fun.
Great response. I'll have to chew on it when I'm able to process better. Too tired from a long day at the Learning Factory.
Your last sentence, like the last sentence in a song, has a ring of truth in it.
> Do we know what we want?
> No, but it is beginning to
> feel like it is time for a
> change.
So.... is it possible that you do know what you want? In other words, "a change"?
Sometimes, and I really don't know if this is true for you ever, or now, but I think that what we crave is simply change -- something different, fresh, novel. You guys have moved on in so many areas of your lives, yet the house is still the same. It makes sense to me that your "anchor" -- the house -- is tugging at you (of course, you're tugging at it -- it just sits there like a good little anchor).
Which makes me think this: anchors ground us, hold us fast, keep us safe.
That makes them sound like a good thing.
And it is, unless we are ready to "pull up anchor" and move on. Then, they hold us back, drag us down, etc. Not so good -- unless that's what we need them to do.
So maybe the question is, is your house an anchor or a dead weight?
:-)
Think weird, also. What is it you want? Less upkeep? Rent out a room to a maintanence /landscape/garderner type. Different location? House swap for a period of time. Lower house payment? Rent out a whole floor. :-)
I don't know the answer, I really don't, but exploring the options in a brainstorming session, with NO editing, might help you figure out what it is you're trying to achieve.
Good questions all. I totally relate.
thx for making me think!!!!!
kevin
Some excellent thoughts. I really wonder about the concept of anchor as something good -- which a house can certainly be, especially for children and yet, a dead weight when it might be time to move on.
heard somewhere: fences keep things in, but they also keep things out.
anchors are multi-purpose that way too. holding fast and being stuck are two different ways to describe the same state -- it's all a matter of perspective and desire.
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